The "A" List

by Pastor Holly Johnson

This week I was pondering an article that I read regarding how self-esteem is affected by social events and forces such as the victory or defeat of a favorite sports team. Research demonstrates that following a team victory, loyal fans’ self-esteem soars, and in contrast, following a team defeat fans’ self-esteem plummets. This exemplifies the power that circumstances and associations have in dictating our lives. The need for affiliation with others is fundamental to human existence. The Lord created us to need relationship and interaction with others. This is evidenced with Adam as the Lord spoke, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18, NAS). However, it is detrimental to our well-being when these relationships and affiliations become “idols” in our lives and our self-worth is based upon their acceptance or rejection.

Before I had a true relationship with the Lord, my self-worth and security was based upon my material possessions. My identity was formed in the Mercedes that I drove and the designer clothes that I wore. As a very dear friend of mine says, I was on the “A list” and had a myriad of social contacts whom I thought gave completeness to my life. I was dependent upon their affirmations in order to feel secure, and when I did not receive them I felt dejected and defeated. Man’s affirmation seems to bring a personal completeness and wholeness and appears to aid in eliminating insecurities and rejection. However, man’s affirmations are not eternal, and they fluctuate with circumstances. Because of the fickleness of man, my self-esteem fluctuated with great peaks and valleys depending upon the “social event” of the hour. I finally had the “rug pulled out from under me” when my husband’s company lost a major contract, and we almost ended up in bankruptcy. All my identity was lost in a moment. However, in that dark hour, the Lord met me there in a powerful way, revealed His love and affirmation and showed me who I was in Him. What a life-changing empowering experience!

Even though man’s affirmations bring temporary security and peace, the only true lasting inner peace comes from the affirmation of our Creator. What greater affirmation can we possibly have than to know the Christ loved us so much that He gave His life for us (Ephesians 5:2, NAS).